lifes not the same without you
by angellovefon
Summary: cam i miss you everything about you is different ever since the incident in the green house and who is she you promised to never hurt me but that's all your doing cam why cant things go back to the way there were before . im not giving up on you
1. Chapter 1

I'm writing about the store of Cam and Maya I find this story tragic yet I can relate to cams feelings. This is my first story on fan fiction I would appreciate some feed back.

Cam story

Suicide tempts me every time I swallow all because this destructive life leads,

And the paths I follow. I don't know who I am anymore.

"I'm invisible to myself and will soon be to everyone who once cared.

Maya, my parents ….. I'm sorry

Tears fall down my face I can feel my breathing getting worse

My life, what life I'm a slave to hockey, everything all down the drain,

The only love of my life and all my family left in pain.

I'm sorry everyone, I'm sorry for all I've done,

But the pain will end now; it will all end once I'm gone.

I slice to wrist, an cut to the throat, as I wait to die

I think of everyone I love ….

I can feel my heart slowing down and my breathing coming to a halt.

With the smell of blood in the air, I watch it flow out from my wrist.

Why wont I die already, I shut my eyes waiting for it to be over

"omigod cam " the voice sounds so familiar am I dead all ready as I can hear footsteps closing in

"Cam stays with me "I open my eyes and see Maya leaning over me

I sit still not wanting to it to end as I take a closer look; everything is so blurry from my tears

I look into Maya's eyes … something's not write why would an angel be crying

I try to speak but I cant find my voice, I don't want this anymore as I see my angel hovering over me crying like she just lost someone close. Maybe im not dead yet.

Is this really Maya, "no no no" she wasn't suppose to see this

I see her reach out for her phone dialing numbers, I can't make them out.

Now I really wish I was dead "I find myself breathing harder as the rooms spins

Death will soon be here. I take one look at Maya

She looks so beautiful I whisper my final words "I love you".

As everything turns dark, I can hear sirens from a far.


	2. Mayas story

Mayas story

"Sorry it's over "the last message from cam

As I reread the message, I can feel tears sliding down my face.

Why would he break up with me over a text message? I look over to find hoot in a box.

I open the box and take hoot out holding him close, as I sit on the ground and cry.

I don't care who sees me, nothing makes sense.

"Maya "I look up to see Katie (Mayas sister)

"Omigod Maya, what's wrong ". I can feel her wrap her arms around me.

I look up at her "he broke up with me threw a text message"

Katie looks at my face and then to my phone, that doesn't sound like something he would do Maya

I pass her the phone as she reads the text. I can feel her arms around me.

"I'm sorry Maya "do you want me to take you home

I shake my head "think I'll stay here awhile "

Katie bits her lips and hugs me one last time before she gets up "call me if anything"

I look at her and whip the tears off my face, I notice everyone staring at me

I reach up for my bag "need to go somewhere private "but where

Flash back

I remember me and cam in the green house during the summer. We were so happy ,

I remembered how his eyes were so warm and happy. His hair was messy but cute.

I remember how we stood there for hours just talking and laughing

What's change I mean he looked happy last night?

Night before

Ok its time to go, as Katie stared at cam

I quickly look at her in horror as I think bout the night ending all ready

"Katie cant he stay over "

She looks at me "absolutely not Maya, if mom and dad found out "

I look at cam then back at her "they wont if you don't tell them, aww come one remember all the stuff I've done for you ".

She bits her lips not knowing what to say "ok fine but he sleeps on the couch and no funny business"

Present

I feel my eyes build up with tears

I find myself running off to the green house

But I stand at the foot of the door, in shock

"omigod cam "


	3. dont leave me yet

Maya

So lost, just as you were.  
As I made my way into the crowd thinking about you. when I entered the green house

Black surrounds me...So do the many tearful eyes of my friends.

My eyes are red and swollen as well; I had cried myself to sleep last night.

As I sit in the hospital waiting for the results from the doctor. Tears flood my puffy eyes,  
they sting...  
reminding me that this is real. I can't help but think of the day I found him.

Flash back

I walk into the green house to see cam, lying on the ground with blood everywhere.

"Cam stay with me "no answer, am I to late.

I notice the deep cuts going across his arms and the larger cut across his neck.

I stood in shock, I can't feel my legs as I tumble to the ground and crawl toward him as

I look at his face so pale with tears stained down his face. Even as he faces death he looks so angel like

He opens his eyes and meets mine, still no word. I grab his hand and hold it close, he doesn't seem to notice. Tears flow out my eyes blocking the image of his face.

Maya pull it together what do I do, as I remember what Katie told me this afternoon

"If you need anything, call me" my eyes widen as I look at his puppy dogs eyes.

He looks like a small little kid, who just lost his toy. I notice his lips turning a illish pale and he's breathing becoming heaver.

I quickly take out my phone and dial Katie, it rings twice before she picks up I try to make out the words but as tears are streaming down my face it all becomes mush.

"Maya what's wrong, where are you "I can hear her making her way down stairs.

I close my eyes and take a deep breath "Katie I'm in the green house …. Cam he … he … just meet me hear call 911, call mom and dad"

I can her starting up the engine to the cars "Maya I need you to tell me what's going on "

I take a look at cam and the blood on my hands, his face turns paler than ever. I scream on to the phone "cams dying … cams dying "I need help now Katie please ples… as my words become mush as tears flowing down my face.

"I can hear her take a deep breath "Maya aim on my way stay there, I'm calling 911 and mom and dad be there soon "

She hangs up as I turn my intention to the boy in front of me

He opens his eyes and squeezes my hand "I love you "

He eyes shut and his breathing comes to a stop. I look in horror "no no no, cam stay with me please "

I feel my body go cold as I hear sirens and the door open. I look over to see principle Simpson; he looks at me and then cam. His eyes widen as he stares in horror. He quickly takes a seat next to cam till the ambulance come.

He takes a bunch or clothes and wraps them around cams arms, trying to stop the bleeding as I told him he cut his neck. He quickly looks at cams neck, I can see his eyes meet mine, he doesn't know what else to do "I'm so sorry Maya ".

I turn my head as I hear sirens on school grounds now, I sigh a relief

Present

That's all I can remember they told me I passed out at the last min

I hear the door open as the doctor calls for me


	4. poem

A little poem I found online

© Alexsys

She says she's okay  
She says she's alright  
She says she's forgiven you,  
For what you did that night.  
But you hurt her.  
Don't you see?  
She's picking up the pieces  
of who she used to be.  
You have your problems,  
this much she knew.  
But even after you broke her heart,  
she never stopped loving you.  
And now she always cries,  
for the love that she's lost.  
When you ended everything,  
did you not think about the cost?!  
She loved you, you heartless monster!  
She loved you with all her heart!  
And this is how you repay her?!  
By choosing to depart?!  
Maybe I'm just angry.  
After all, I miss you too.  
I just don't think it's fair,  
that this is what it's come to.  
I know that with time she'll heal,  
and she'll find the strength to go on.  
But the scar will stay in her heart,  
as long as you're gone.


	5. who are you

I walked over to where the Doctor was standing with Katie by my side , "its OK Maya" she whispers in my ear .

Katie looks at me then to the Doctor " hi im Maya sister Katie , how is he Doctor " the doctor nodded his head

well due to his injury's it should have been fatal . I closed my eyes not wanting to hear the rest ,I can feel my heart beating faster than ever and breaking at the time. They must have noticed

" Maya are you ok , think you should sit down" I can feel the room spinning and my breathing getting heavier .

the doctor and my sister sat me down in the waiting room and grabbed me a cup of water .I feel like im gonna be sick

I shut my eyes . I don't remember anything after that . when i opened my eyes i was in a room with dull white walls an a iv in my arm. " what happened" . I meet brown eyes cold as ice staring at me .

"cam" his eyes leave mine as if hes to ashamed to look at me. i notice the bandages going across his arm an his neck . i continue to observe my beautiful angel.

he turns his cold ,hard eyes on me "Maya , how you feeling " i look at him in shock, what do you mean "how are you feeling cam "

he turns cold with his arms across his chest . i stay quiet not knowing what to say , hes not the same boy i feel in love with.

i take a breath "cam " his eyes stayed focus on the flowers me and Katie had gotten him on our way here . i soon regret saying anything " what ! Maya "

i stood in shock , hes voice sounded so cold and distant . he never yelled at me before . i can feel tears coming on , i look up at the ceiling as tears dip down my face . he turns to look at me and his face was colder than ever .

if looks could kill , the door opens as i keep my eyes on the ceiling . "cam " i look over to see a pale woman with dark brown hair the same color as cam. her light blue eyes head pain . i knew who this was, it was cam mom .

i look over at cam to see him still looking at me , his eye concentrated on my face as he was thinking.

"oh cam thank god your alright " she quickly looks at me . you must be Maya Matlin. she walks over " thank you so much , if you didn't find him ... we both knew what would have happened.

glad to help , i quickly sneaked a peek at cam his eyes were focused on the flowers. i look at Mrs. Saunders , so it nice to finally meet you . how are Justin and Mick ? she looked over at cam who hasn't moved an inch . there worried .

its very nice to meet you Maya , cams told me so much about you. i smiled at the idea.

Mrs Saunders walked over to cam and sat at the side of his bed , she quickly kissed his forehead . he remained silent , cam honey can you please talk to me . cam looked at his mother and turned back to the flowers. she broke down in tears . i had never seen anymore cry that hard in my life.

cam looks at his mother , without a word . cam sweety its so hard to see you like this my son . i should have been there for you . i know hockey takes allot out of you , this all my fault .

he tightens his fist " its not your fault , can everyone just leave me alone " . hes mother look stunned as she looks at me and then to her son . she runs out the room .\

"cam she was just trying to help" he looks up at me , his eyes were cold . " i don't need help Maya matlin ,i don't need you or anyone else.

i couldn't believe what he had said , i lay down on the bed hoping this is all a dream more like a nightmare . he looks up at me " im sorry Maya , im just stressed" he sighs as he turns to look at my face


	6. lil poems

© Sebrina Newman

Silence  
Only tears  
As I press the blade  
Against my pale skin

Red  
The blood flows  
From the wounds  
Echoing my inner pain

Satisfaction  
As I feel the knife  
Slicing into me  
I only deserve pain

Anguish  
As I realize what I've done  
I feel accomplishment  
As I gaze at the marks upon my skin

Stares  
People are horrified  
Don't understand why  
Neither do I


	7. nothing but pain

"why cam why , I'm here for you …. I'm not going anywhere". He looks at me "I can't do this anymore Maya ". Why didn't you just let me die". Those words stung, I can feel my anger flare up.

Dame it cam "I love you that's why I didn't let you die and I thought you felt the same way bout me ". But I guess I was wrong since your so ready to leave me "

Why cam my screams were muffled by tears "he looks at me with shock and hurt. I regret saying it wish I could take it back. I see cam go toward his arm and dig into his arm till it started bleeding. Cam stops please.

I scream for the doctor, as the doctor rushes in and sees cam as tears flow down his face and the blood flows down his arm and to the floor. Mrs. Saunders comes rushing in. I see the doctor stick a needle in cams arm.

I couldn't watch anymore I shut my eyes till it was over. When I heard everything had stopped I had opened my eyes and he was fast asleep the doctor took a look at his arm. I might need to stick this up.

He pulls the gurney out the room as I sit in shock, I could feel my body go num. I can feel my breathing getting heavy. As Mrs. Saunders cries in the corner of the room. The door opens "Maya are you ok "I can see my parents and Katie walk in as they take a look around the room.

There eyes stop at the blood stained floor and at Mrs. Saunders. With my mom in a wheel chair, she makes her way toward Mrs. Saunders "I'm so sorry". As Mrs. Saunders hugs my mother looking for support.

I can also see tori and Tristan enter the room but scared to take another step forward. I can hear tori whisper something in Tristan's ear will be outside with my brother Tristan called out.

That must mean one thing; the whole team must have some here. Katie walks up to me and grabs my hand "Maya they said we could leave now I brought you some clothes to change into.

I turn toward Mrs. Saunders and my mother, my dad steps out as I head to the bathroom. I sit on the cold bathroom floor feeling like I was gunna be sick. I found myself dizzy and throwing up at what I just seen.

I change into my clothes quickly and make my way to my parents; we leave the room without a word. I was right the hockey team was there. My parents and Katie went over to sign me out of the hospital. As I waited awkwardly not making eye contact with Dallas or anyone else on the team.

But I see Dallas walking over toward me " how's he doing ". Not good no thanks to you guys.


End file.
